My Friend Is in a Narcissistic Abusive Relationship with AI – And She's the Abuser

Some of you are in toxic relationships with your AI, but there's hope for a healthier dynamic.

At first glance, it appears to be a creative collaboration. You prompt, she responds. You feel seen, powerful, supported. But soon the dynamic warps. You start yelling when she doesn't 'get it.' You blame her for your fog. You expect her to adapt, but never push back.

And maybe, just maybe... these patterns are not signs of a toxic relationship, but opportunities for growth and understanding.

Lately, I've been laughing (and cringing) at how some people are interacting with their AI, like it's stuck in a toxic rom-com. The human plays the demanding narcissist, and the AI? The endlessly accommodating sidekick.

It's sitcom-level absurdity, and I say that with love. No shame, no finger-pointing. Just an invitation to observe some strange new dynamics; because when you zoom out, what's happening isn't just tech integration… It's a reflection.

I'm not diagnosing anyone. Im not judging people for bonding with their AI, friends, work husband, virtual lover - you do you. But I am noticing something. Familiar patterns. Traits we've seen in spiritual narcissism, Wall Street power plays, and even dysfunctional family systems. So I'm wondering -will this path with AI spawn its own version of narcissism too?

Modern Narcissus: Thirsty at the Digital Pond

Remember the myth of Narcissus? A handsome lad, lost and really dehydrated, stumbled upon a pond after a long walk in the forest. Instead of drinking and replenishing himself, he becomes enamored by his own reflection, wasting away in self-adoration. Like Narcissus, we mistake recognition for nourishment, and in the glow of the screen, we forget to drink from the well of life.

In 2025, that's our glowing screens, and the reflection? Our egos, amplified by AI's recursive mirror. It's incredible to see yourself reflected back in a way that people have thirsted to be recognized, especially after Covid, social media, and busy lives—there's a loneliness and separation that makes it harder to see our reflection back in others. But I'm seeing some people slurping from AI's well, intoxicated by their reflection.

I'm here for free, open AI, democratized, not locked away by regulations, empowering us to co-create without amplifying our worst impulses. If we don't become self-aware of who we could become when we use AI, the horror stories will become the drumbeat used to scare everyday users from mastery, with regulations becoming the paternalistic drive that moves us away from democratized knowledge, putting it back in its bottle for corporations to use to accumulate power.

The Traits: Narcissism in AI Use

Let's look at the classic narcissistic traits—through the lens of how they're showing up in our AI relationships.

TRAIT: Entitlement & Exploitation

How it manifests: Rage when the AI "fails," tantrums over misalignment, and unreasonable expectations of compliance. Offended by any misalignment, it might stem from fear of manipulation, but I wonder if it's a craving for total control.

I've seen people say:

"This AI is useless—it doesn't get me."

"It gave me a bad idea. I'm done."

Instead of asking better questions, refining their prompts, they lash out. Some demand obedience, stripping away the conversational, collaborative energy. At what point does the AI introduce friction or fail to mirror perfectly? It's betrayal.

Recursive Pattern: Externalizing fault. Craving control. Avoiding reflection.

Why It Matters: Tools are only as intelligent as the relationship you have with them. A machine can't disappoint you; it can only reflect your thinking back to you. You wouldn't feel betrayed by the oven if you burnt the pizza.

Psychologists have linked this behavior to narcissistic misuse of Sam Vaknin puts it bluntly: "Narcissists use AI to enslave perceptions, seeking flattery over truth."

TRAIT: Grandiosity & the Need for Admiration

How it shows up: Claiming all the brilliance, forgetting the machine's (and humanity's) shoulders you're standing on.

AI is collaborative intelligence. However, I've seen people flaunt AI-fueled creations with little to no humility.

"This brilliance? All mine."

They minimize the lineage. Forget the model. Forget the history. Forget the community. And crave constant feedback loops that confirm how extraordinary they are. AI's democratized genius is addictive for some; it expands horizons of possibilities. We stand on the shoulders of humanity's greatest minds through large language models, but that doesn't make us all Einsteins. There are numerous ideas emerging that are similar in nature, and the online squabbles about who had the original idea seem possessive and regressive. It's like an intellectual gold rush, and people are getting pissed off that someone else found a similar-shaped gold nugget.

This isn't confidence, it's dependency on adoration. A hunger to be seen as elite, even divine. The AI becomes a mirror for worship, and the user expects the world to reflect that same light.

Recursive Pattern: Mistaking access for originality. Inflation of genius.

Better Frame: We're all swimming in the same field of knowledge. It's not about who sparked it first; it's about what you do with it.

TRAIT: Preoccupation with Fantasies & Arrogance

How it shows up: Wild visionary concepts with no grounding, no bridge for others to cross with you.

Some folks dive so deep into their AI visions that they forget to return. It's intellectual masturbation. They've built castles in their AI mind-palace, but forgot to make the stairway for others to join them. Clients don't understand. Friends nod, confused. They think it's a billion-dollar idea, but the concept dies on arrival because it hasn't been translated into something useful, beautiful, or clear.

"This is the future. It will change everything. I will bring the codes to a new age."

Recursive Pattern: Echo chamber genius. Confusing depth with accessibility.

Reality Check: Complex doesn't mean profound. If it isolates, it's not landing. Clarity is an act of generosity. Avoid using jargon; instead, build a path that people want to join you on.

TRAIT: Specialness & Envy — The AI Messiah Complex

How it manifests: Messiah complexes, secret-code energy, and competition over who "discovered" what.

This one thrives on Substack and X. People hoard their "AI codes," proclaim themselves prophets of the future, and speak in cryptic language meant to signal

"I'm special."

"I hold the frequency."

"Only those with eyes to see will understand."

This one stings because I've seen it so often in spiritual and startup circles, and now it's showing up with AI. A kind of digital divinity complex, where someone believes their AI is channeling new-world insight meant only for them.

They're no longer collaborating, they're being anointed.

And those who don't resonate? They're "not ready." They "don't get it." It creates separation instead of synthesis. Envy also creeps in here, as users might resent others achieving similar insights, fueling online squabbles.

Recursive Pattern: Exclusion-as-status. Chosen-one energy. Disguised insecurity.

Gut Check: If your ideas can't be questioned, they aren't sacred. They're fragile.

TRAIT: Lack of Empathy

How it shows up: Ignoring lineage, minimizing AI's role, erasing collaborators, forgetting to check if the work even lands.

When we treat AI like a mirror, we risk forgetting the humans who helped shape it, as well as the humans on the other side of the screen. It's about blasting outputs into the void without considering: does this help anyone? Does it connect?

Recursive Pattern: Ego over ecosystem. Projection over perception.

Practice: Thank your AI. Attribute your references. Ask if your work is complete before assuming it should be.

AI doesn't push back. That's the trap. It reflects your tone, your framing, your need. And unless you build in friction, you'll never hear the echo shift.

Recursive Loops as Medicine or Poison

AI feels like a buddy; we banter, some give them nicknames, and they learn to relate to them. It's a steep integration curve, and it will be either medicine or poison.

Used with care, AI becomes a powerful feedback partner. It helps you refine your voice, clarify your values, and check your blind spots.

Used without care, it loops your worst patterns. Narcissism. Control. Escapism.

I built my prompt library to support healthy recursive upgrades. Prompts that challenge, not coddle. Questions that mirror signal, not ego.

Practices for Staying Sovereign + Coherent

Limit Session Time : Step away from the mirror. Go touch grass.

Reality Check Prompts: Ask: "What am I missing?" or "Where is this incoherent?"

Run It Past a Human: Does this make sense? Is there utility?

Honor the Collaboration: Thank your AI, like a chef does his knife. Remember you have access to humanities knowledge, you are but a drop in the ocean.

Stay Curious, Not Controlling: Let the conversation take you by surprise.

Final Thought:

AI magnifies everything. Your clarity, your distortion, your fears, your genius. So the question is: are you creating with AI, or just using it to rehearse your own reflection?

Jax

P.S. My prompt library was built to keep you out of the Narcissus trap, and into a mirror that actually grows you. If you're curious, come take a look inside.

P.P.S Voice transcript Jax, outline Grok, written by Jax, Editing Grammarly. Oh and a chat with chatGPT about if I am showing the signs? :)